1. FIX ALL BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS
I have very few regrets in my life but my biggest will be not making the time to appreciate and love my dad more. I spent so much time dwelling on the bad moments (well, there were so many of them😞) that I ignored the few good times. I wish I had more time to undo all that But he’s gone and that’s something I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life. Fix all broken relationships while you still can. Someday it might be too late. Trust me, I know what I’m saying.
2. SHIT HAPPENS
You honestly don’t expect things to always go the way you want them to, do you? 🙄. There will be times when you find yourself doing the same things you vowed never to do! Or being in situations that you just have no control over😫 Like being taken advantage of, being played, being a victim of rape or abuse of any kind, wasting your time on the wrong people (we’ve all been there), the list is endless.. And no matter how much you will hate yourself afterwards, just know that shit happens. It’s happened already, learn from it, move on and make sure it doesn’t happen again.
3. DON’T BE AFRAID TO BE YOURSELF
Unfortunately for us, we live in a world that is so judgemental by nature. You shouldn’t let that stop you. People will always talk, so make sure you give them something good to talk about. I wear anklets, I’ve got a couple of piercings, I dress the way I want to, I say things as they are (if you like come and beat me) and trust me, I get crap for it but who cares? I don’t. I’m just being me. Don’t ever make the mistake of trying to fit in just so you won’t have a problem with anyone. You’re above all that. You’re GOLD Baibey, not copper.
4. FIND YOURSELF
I used to feel insecure about myself for so long. I never thought I was good enough for anything or anyone for that matter. I could almost swear that I was that one ugly friend in the squad. (Surprising? 😂 I Know) And that was the mentality I had for so long until I got so tired of feeling that way. Flashback to that fateful day in 2010 when I decided that I had so much to offer – it was about time I rebranded my current self into my ideal self, be more open to a lot of things, find my true self and then accept it. I haven’t had any regrets so far. I’m happy for taking that big step! Finding myself has made me a much better person.
5. YOU’LL DEFINATELY GET YOUR HEART BROKEN
Yes 😫 You WILL get your heart broken. It isn’t easy but it will get better. No amount of partying or sex or drinking will heal you. What you need most at this point is self acceptance and self love because at the end of the day, when that feeling of temporary happiness is gone, you’ll be left alone at 3:00 am crying and feeling sorry for yourself. You are the only one who can deal with you. You deserve better dear, you deserve to be happy. You are beautiful and intelligent and funny and smart and so much more. And if he can’t see that, then he’s the one who lost – big time! You did your best and the sad truth is, for some people your best will never ever be enough for them. So don’t kill yourself because at the end of the day, your happiness is what truly matters.
6. BE ADVENTUROUS
Don’t be afraid to do crazy stuff – things out of the ordinary – that you wouldn’t usually do. If you want to get more out of life, then you need to get out of your comfort zone. If you don’t take risks, you’ll have a wasted soul. Every day, I want to go the extra mile – I can’t possibly imagine myself living the way my parents did. There is so much to do and so much to see – I need to be able to experience all that.
7. PEOPLE COME AND GO
People come and go. Everyone that has been in your life has been there for a reason. Some to teach you valuable life lessons, some to love you, some to make you a better person and some, to experience life with you. That boy that claimed to be in love with you will move on to another girl. Those friends that you made in high school may or may not be by your side. As we all move forward in life, we all have different goals and ambitions. New friends and relationships are right around the corner. You just need to trust the magic of new beginnings. 💫
8. VALUE YOUR FRIENDSHIPS
There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do for my friends. I cherish friendships more than anything else. Whenever I have the chance to help a friend in any way that I possibly can, I go all out and do it. Some will be appreciative, others won’t but that shouldn’t stop you. Go out there and make meaningful bonds with people that will last a lifetime. Make as many friends as you possibly can and don’t burn bridges.
9. GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK
What you need to know is that things will continue to go on with or without you. So every now and then, sit down and breathe. Take the day off whenever you can. Take a break from school or work or business or whatever it is that you do. Take a break from people and from social media and have some “me” time.
10. GETTING AN F ISN’T THE END OF THE WORLD
Sigh, I wish I knew this back then! Do you have any idea at all how it feels like to hear that your end of semester results are out only to check and see a series of F’s in chains?? And believe me, I’m not talking about the once in a while one or two F’s but the kind where the one good grade in the whole batch is a D sitting in the midst of F’s. I remember thinking, “How on earth am I going to finish this course and not kill myself in the end?!” That was when I sat back and realized that I was simply at the wrong place, expecting right results. So I took a huge leap of faith, I changed courses, I’m actually doing something I really like and excelling so well at it. So well, I doubt if anyone would ever believe there was a time I ever had an F. Failing isn’t the problem, the problem is how you get back up afterwards.
11. TRY OUT NEW THINGS
I’m always eager to try out new stuff. I guess I’m just a curious soul. I’ve tried hair dye, I’ve cut my hair, I’ve pierced my ear more than once, I’ve tried all kinds of food I never I thought I’d eat in my life (pork, sushi, rabbit meat kebab, frog legs) and I’m still alive 😂, thank goodness 🙏🏽. The next on my to do list is getting a tattoo just like this one. The birds signify freedom to me and that is the one thing I always aim to get – the freedom to be myself. I can already hear the naysayers and “critics” going on and on about how bad tattoos are blah blah 🙄. I’ve developed a thick skin for that over the years. I don’t want to live the rest of my life thinking, “what if”. I couldn’t possibly live that way. There are so many things that life has to offer and I’m not going to deprive myself of them and the kind of freedom and excitement and rush that comes with doing these things. Don’t be boring, learn to live life!
12. NOTHING IS PERMANENT
Nothing lasts forever. Everything in this life is fleeting and impermanent. The pain you’re going through will one day not be there. That state of not having enough will be a state of having more than enough, some day. Everything has its season and time.
13. LOVE YOURSELF
How many times do you look at yourself in the mirror and genuinely smile at what you see? You need to be able to come to terms with the fact that beyond your mess, God sees the beauty He created and still thinks it’s good! Self love sets the standard in how we allow others to treat us and ultimately, how we treat our own selves. Know your worth baibey, and you’ll never have to settle for anything less than you deserve.
14. IF SOMETHING MAKES YOU HAPPY, DO IT
Don’t let the expectations and opinions of other people affect your decisions. It’s your life, not theirs. Do what matters most to you. Do what makes you feel alive and happy. Don’t let the expectations and ideas of others limit who you are. Let whoever think whatever. There’s more to life than pleasing people. You need to decide who you are for yourself and do everything that you possibly can to be happy. Never rely on others for your own happiness. People always disappoint. You are in charge of your own happiness.
15. REMOVE YOURSELF FROM NEGATIVE SITUATIONS AND PEOPLE
It’s as simple as that. Being around negative people and negative situations almost always brings out the negative sides of us – anger, jealousy, hatred, pessimism, backstabbing, lies, betrayal, confusion etc. I am someone who gets angry easily but ever since I started living by this principle, I have become a better person. Instead of staying, I simply excuse myself so I don’t end up reacting with the anger that has been provoked inside me. If you continue to associate with people who do not have vision but only think of today, you’ll end up being like them. Surround yourself with people who make you happy and inspire and motivate you to be your best self.
16. GOD’S GOT YOU
Why worry when you can pray about it? You need to understand that God will never put you through a hurdle He knows you can’t cross. You simply need to trust Him. This is something I tell my mum all the time. She is always worrying about stuff, how she’ll pay school fees, how to pay the bills, what to eat, how there’s no money – how are we going to survive? (Frankly speaking I don’t blame her, she’s the only one taking care of my brothers and I ) I keep telling her that God will always provide for us and indeed He does! Haven’t you ever been in a situation where you were so sure that things will never work but someway somehow, everything turned out just fine? That’s the power of God working in us for our own good.
17. DO NOT COMPARE YOUR LIFE TO SOMEONE’S CONTROLLED ONLINE CONTENT
You obviously don’t go about posting the not so glowing aspects of your life on social media🙄 It’s only the best moments that make it out there. And that’s just the way it is with everyone. A couple posts pictures and videos of themselves giving each other lavish gifts and going to fancy dinners and basically having a good time and you start doubting if you’re really with the right person. You see all those Instagram boss chicks and then you start wishing you had a body shape like theirs or human hair like the ones they have on or the face beats or the cars or the frequent two-week Dubai-Lagos-SouthAfrica trips. Don’t compare b. We all struggle, we all make mistakes, we all feel ugly sometimes, we all use filters.
18. START YOUR OWN BUSINESS
We all have that one thing we are good at. It could be writing, cooking, making up people’s faces to perfection, fixing and styling hair, good marketing skills.. It could be anything at all. Maybe it’s about time we developed those skills and then made money out of it. It’s never too late to start your own business. Having a little extra money to spend and save never hurt anybody. (Besides, you’re really going to need that extra cash )
19. APOLOGIZING WON’T KILL YOU
Don’t ever let pride get the best of you. When you do something wrong, learn to say “I’m sorry” and actually mean it. And don’t hold grudges for long. If I sit and look back at the number of beautiful friendships I would have lost had I held some grudges for long, I’d probably be friendless by now. We are all human, today I might offend you – tomorrow you may be the one at fault. So to everyone that I’ve disappointed or let down or offended at some point in my life, I am sorry. I am sorry for not being there when you needed me. I am sorry for not trying harder. I’m trying so hard to be a better person.
20. FAMILY MEMBERS AREN’T ALWAYS FAMILY
It’s true to some extent that yes, blood is thicker than water. But even your own family can backstab, betray and turn their back on you. Sometimes your own family members may not even care that you exist. Believe me, I’d know. Those that you consider family are sometimes the ones that hurt you the most. So I’ve come to learn that the term family means so much more. Anyone who has your best interests at heart and will do anything to make you smile and make sure you succeed, those are the people you can proudly call family.
21. LEARN TO LET GO & MOVE ON
It happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then realize that people you’ve known forever don’t see things the way you do. By all means keep the wonderful memories, but learn to move on. In the words of Tupac, “You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened…. Or you just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on.”
22. KEEP YOUR CIRCLE SMALL, ALWAYS
Like they say, less friends – less bullshit. I couldn’t agree more! Your friends should motivate and inspire you. Your circle should be well rounded and supportive. Keep it tight. Make sure that everybody in your “boat” is rowing and not drilling holes when you’re not looking (fake friends alert❗️) Remember, quality over quantity always.
References (goodreadquotes, images from Google 😁)